Having laughed at Kane and Alli this weekend, we decided to reflect on other dubious, pre-planned routines…
Harry Kane and Dele Alli – Tottenham v Everton, 2017
There’s nothing wrong with pre-planned handshake celebrations, providing the right players are involved.
Alli? Fair enough. Alongside Eric Dier, the midfielder has shown himself on social media to be someone who enjoys fun and games.
Kane might do, too, but we’ve never seen it.
Just a few weeks ago, he did an interview discussing life as a father and how obsessed he is about being the best.
That’s why it was jarring – it was so out of character.
Also, as a manoeuvre, it went on for far too long.
The hands stuff was tolerable, but the chest and clicking bits were excessive.
It didn’t help that Kane looked miserable during the whole thing, either.
Credit to him for memorising the routine, though. His display was not for the want of trying.
Paul Pogba and Jesse Lingard – Manchester United v Feyenoord, 2016
This is how you do it, lads.
United’s Europa League win against Fenerbahce in October – which featured goals from Pogba (x2) and Lingard – yielded three different routines.
Each one started with the standard handshake fare but quickly progressed into enthusiastic, co-ordinated arm and leg movements, otherwise known as dancing.
Most impressively, the pair always saved their best move till last – usually one made famous by NFL quarterback, Cam Newton, including the now-deceased Dab – thus ensuring an emphatic end.
Unlike Kane and Alli, Pogba and Lingard’s feels like a story – each section is connected, rather than just exist as a series of individual moves.
Always performed with gusto, the United also seem to be enjoying themselves, which is endearing.
A great effort – if only their on-pitch form was as impressive.
Ryan Giggs and Paul Ince – Tottenham v Manchester United, 1992
Ah, the good old days.
It’s hard to imagine now, but the salt-and-pepper haired, long-retired Giggs was once Manchester United’s – and English football’s – next big thing.
Sure, the game has always had exciting prospects, but the Welshman’s emergence was significant because he was the first star of the newly-branded Premier League to be marketed by brands.
Celebrations like the one the then-teenage Giggs and Ince – with whom he enjoyed a a bromance – performed throughout United’s title-winning, 1992/93 season might have been rolled out in the old first division.
The absence of television coverage, however, presumably limited their impact.
Upon reflection, the routine itself – a choreographed double high-five, followed by a type of curtsy and several backward steps – was nothing special, but at the time it represented innovation.
Ian Wright and Neil Ruddock – West Ham v Southampton, 1998
A consideration for some stand-up comedians is how much time has to pass before they can make jokes about something bad that has happened.
It is probably not unfair to suggest that Wright and Ruddock never wrestled with the same moral dilemma.
After Paolo Di Canio was sent off for pushing over referee Paul Alcock – an incident that became instantly infamous – the then-West Ham duo lampooned it just two days later.
Having scored against Southampton, Wright was pushed by Ruddock and proceeded to fall to the floor, but only after tumbling for a few steps beforehand.
Satire? Hardly, although the players better known as ‘Wrighty’ and ‘Razor’ got a big laugh at the time.
Even if it was at the expense of some bloke who was embarrassed for just doing his job.
Michael Owen and Paul Ince – Newcastle v Liverpool, 1998
Ince is the only player to appear twice on this list, which is amusing for a player who was known as the ‘Guv’nor’.
This celebration, though, was primarily Owen’s.
A national treasure after scoring that goal against Argentina, the then-18-year-old plundered a 15-minute hat-trick at St James’ Park early on in the 1998/99 season.
It was after the third goal that Owen did what was the first and only pre-arranged celebration of his career: a rather mundane number, comprised exclusively of rubbing his hands together gleefully.
Turns out it was a tribute to one of Jamie Carragher’s mates, who had been so nervous to meet Owen that massaging his own palms was all he could muster.
And what of Ince’s involvement?
“He had no clue what I was doing,” said Owen.
Paul Scholes and Gary Neville – Manchester City v Manchester United, 2010
Not a handshake or dance, per se, but what the latter often leads to: a kiss.
Worth a mention.
What do you think to our list? Have we left anyone out? Let us know on Facebook or in the comments section below…
