Imagining Ben Stokes and England's epic McDonald's splurge
Guy Giles predicts who ordered what after England celebrated their remarkable third Ashes Test triumph at Headingley with a trip to the Golden Arches.
Jason Roy – 6pc Spicy Chicken McNuggets
Roy is a classical batsman with a dash of oomph.
It is only right, then, that he would order a McDonald’s staple with extra spice.
Rory Burns – 6pc Chicken McNuggets
Burns is inseparable from opening partner and best mate Roy, and a visit to the Golden Arches will have been no different.
However, his more measured approach is likely to have seen him stick with the classic McNuggets, rather than their spicy counterparts.
Joe Root – Big Mac meal with a full-fat Coke
There is no way Root ordered anything other than the absolute classic.
The England captain is a straight-down-the middle kind of guy and, when it comes to McDonald’s, that can only mean a Big Mac and Coke.
Joe Denly – Garlic Mayo Chicken wrap and a fruit bag
Denly has a reputation to uphold as the elder statesman of this team, and that means sticking to the healthier options on the menu.
A salad, however, would have been out of the question after such a thrilling win, so a Garlic Mayo Chicken wrap finished with a bag of fruit will have done nicely.
Ben Stokes – Double Quarter Pounder, 20pc McNuggets share box, large chocolate milkshake
A colossal meal for a colossal performance. Stokes was clearly in need of a refuel after his match-winning performance, and what better than a big pile of protein?
A hefty Double Quarter Pounder to start, followed by 20 McNuggets and a milkshake to wash it down. A meal fit for a king/hero/legend, or whatever else Stokes has been anointed since the weekend.
Jonny Bairstow – The Signature Collection: The BBQ
Bairstow’s unpredictable personality will have seen him go left-field with his post-match meal, and that means the Signature Collection.
Which one, though? The Classic? Too boring for Jonny. The Spicy? Too hot for a pasty Yorkshireman. The BBQ? Now we’re talking.
Jos Buttler – Double Quarter Pounder
A beefy burger for a beefy man.
Buttler is likely to have joined Stokes in wolfing down a Double Quarter Pounder, with the duo finding some synergy after their run-out mix-up earlier in the day.
Chris Woakes – McChicken Sandwich
Woakes is England’s utility man, with his all-round game built on technique and efficiency.
There is nothing more efficient on the McDonald’s menu than the McChicken Sandwich – bun, chicken, salad, sauce – and that will go down well with Woakes.
Jofra Archer – Chicken Legend with Cool Mayo and Berry Burst smoothie
A cool burger for the coolest member of this England side.
Archer has shown he has ice running through his veins but will have been in dire need of some replenishment after a draining two weeks - some cool mayo and an icy smoothie will have done the job perfectly.
Stuart Broad – The Signature Collection: The Classic
As the most-decorated member of this England team, Broad will have settled for no less than the best McDonald’s have to offer.
The souped-up Classic burger from the Signature Collection – featuring a quality beef patty, bacon, cheddar cheese, two sauces and salad - will hit the spot just nicely.
Jack Leach – Filet-O-Fish
A cult classic for England’s new cult hero.
Leach may not be a star in this side but his role in their famous win will never be forgotten, much like the understated Filet-O-Fish – affectionately known as a ‘Fof’ for long-time fans of the sandwich – will always have a place on the menu at McDonald’s.
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