What would happen if the sides in the English top flight could pick from Europe's best young players?
There’s no point writing think pieces about whether an NFL-style draft would work in the Premier League. It never could.
So instead, we suspended reality and imagined what might happen if sides in the English top flight could select any European-based player born after 1 January 1994.
Clubs wouldn’t be required to pay transfer fees, and, just like in American sports, the worst team picks first.
This is what we came up with…
1. SUNDERLAND
As Commissioner Richard Scudamore opens the envelope, Monaco’s Kylian Mbappe ponders his new life on Wearside.
“With the first pick in the 2017 Premier League draft,” Scudamore announces, “Sunderland select… Moussa Dembele.”
An audible gasp fills Wembley Arena.
There can only be one reason the Celtic and ex-Fulham striker is out first.
“We wanted more Britishness,” David Moyes later says.
2. MIDDLESBROUGH
That was a lucky escape, Mbappe says to himself, clearly unaware of Middlesbrough’s proximity to Sunderland.
Steve Agnew, locked away in Boro’s draft room 248 miles up north, scrambles to his feet and grabs Steve Gibson’s phone.
“Kylian. You’re coming to the Riverside.”
3. SWANSEA
Nothing has changed as far as Paul Clement is concerned.
A fast, gifted winger is what Swansea need, and Clement is prepared to ignore the sexier names on the list in order to work with a player he knows from Bayern Munich.
Welcome to Wales, Kingsley Coman.
4. HULL
Marco Silva knows that, like quarterbacks, strikers are highly sought-after due to their influence on games.
And with Mbappe gone, only one world-class centre forward remains.
That means one thing: Torino striker Andrea Belotti trading one city of culture for another.
5. BURNLEY
“Sean Dyche isn’t a man who likes to mess about, and he’s not going to start here.”
Those are the words of Dyche himself, spoken to Burnley chief executive Lee Hoos.
Dyche takes the draft’s best remaining player, Borussia Dortmund’s Ousmane Dembele.
6. LEICESTER
Wes Morgan is on his sofa at home, watching the draft live on Sky Sports 1.
Even though he knows what’s coming, a single tear rolls down see his cheek upon seeing his replacement.
Back in London, Athletic Bilbao’s Aymeric Laporte – clad in a three-piece suit and, as of three seconds ago, a Leicester City cap – strides from the green room to the stage.
7. WEST HAM
Renowned for providing a home for diminutive, overseas playmakers to flourish, West Ham’s selection surprises no-one.
Raucous renditions of I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles bellow around various East-End pubs as Commissioner Scudamore reads out the name of Monaco’s Bernardo Silva.
8. BOURNEMOUTH
Eddie Howe has a decision to make: goalkeeper or central defender?
In the green room, AC Milan’s Gianluigi Donnarumma and Paris Saint Germain’s Marquinhos’ eyes meet.
Neither is especially excited at the prospect of swapping a bustling metropolis for life on the south coast. But it’s not up to them.
With seconds of their allotted 10-minute allowance remaining, Howe plumps for Marquinhos.
9. CRYSTAL PALACE
Howe’s decision leaves one man rubbing his hands with glee.
Sam Allardyce has been searching for a dependable goalkeeper ever since he and Jussi Jaaskelainen parted ways.
And in Donnarumma he’s found one.
Allardyce makes the call, and the Italian – already envisioning life in another fashion capital – gratefully accepts.
10. STOKE
Fabinho has heard all about the cold, wet Tuesday nights in Stoke.
Surprisingly, though, the Brazilian’s keen to experience them in the flesh. Every other week, to be precise.
A cultured footballer who is also happy to mix it in the centre of midfield, Fabinho is perfect for Mark Hughes’ Potters.
11. WATFORD
There’s a Roberto Pereyra-shaped hole in Watford’s midfield, and Gino Pozzo is determined to fill it.
Asensio or Pulisic? The Hornets chairman ponders. It’s 50/50.
Out of nowhere, the name comes to him.
Thomas Lemar.
If there’s any justice, Lemar won’t join the list of injured Hornets playmakers.
12. SOUTHAMPTON
Some of the Europe’s finest footballers – who just happen to be 23 or under – remain available.
Try explaining that to Southampton’s head of football development Les Reed, who wants burgeoning Nice defender Malang Sarr.
Inside the Saints’ draft room, Claude Puel explains how they’d be better off getting someone for now, rather than the future.
“You concentrate on the team,” Reed retorts. “I’ll handle recruitment.”
13. WEST BROM
“This is it,” a West Brom supporter announces to no one in particular at the Waggon & Horses, a pub located near the Hawthorns.
“Finally, a bit of flair in the team.”
But Tony Pulis has other ideas, passing on Marco Asensio and grabbing Monaco’s Tiemoue Bakayoko.
Because you can never have too many combative midfielders.
14. EVERTON
Ronald Koeman, still chuckling at former club Southampton’s naïveté, puts in the call.
Commissioner Scudamore delivers the sweet news.
Real Madrid’s Asensio is now a Toffee.
15. ARSENAL
Arsene Wenger sits alone in Arsenal’s draft room – the decision, as ever, entirely on his shoulders.
He rings in the pick, adding Joshua Kimmich to his burgeoning crop of German players.
The Frenchman also offers to send Granit Xhaka back to the Bundesliga in an attempt to get the deal done.
“That’s not how this works, Arsene,” Commissioner Scudamore explains.
16. MANCHESTER UNITED
There is only one thing Ed Woodward enjoys more than announcing new Manchester United commercial partners.
Revenge.
Woodward – wearing sunglasses even though he’s indoors – informs the Commissioner that Renato Sanches is to finally become a United player.
Upon ending the call, the United CEO blows imaginary smoke from the top of his iPhone, like a gunslinger in the Wild West.
17. MANCHESTER CITY
Guardiola gets his first choice (well, second, after Mbappe): a world-class full-back.
Welcome to Manchester, Benjamin Mendy.
18. LIVERPOOL
Jurgen Klopp leaps to his feet, teeth gritted, eyes bulging, glasses falling to the floor.
He’s got his man – the one he wanted all along.
Christian Pulisic is on his way to Anfield.
19. TOTTENHAM
In the green room, Saul Niguez, Youri Tielemans and Timo Werner exchange nervous glances.
Who can blame them? No kid ever dreams of being a second-round pick.
That’s their reality, though, especially when Daniel Levy rings in Mauricio Pochettino’s selection: Ajax’s 17-year-old winger, Justin Kluivert.
20. CHELSEA
Antonio Conte isn’t interested in potential. He wants to win now.
Conte sees Daniele Rugani slotting straight into his back three, and grabs the defender from his former club.
Gary Cahill’s agent pulls out his iPhone and begins calling other clubs.
