England are miles away

They'll never compete with teams like France (who drew 0-0 with Luxembourg), Italy (who got slaughtered 3-0 by Spain) or Germany (who edged past Czech Republic 2-1).

Six points out of six and one foot in Russia. #SouthgateOut.

Dele Alli has his priorities right

It is clear that the banter-hungry youngster has devoted his promising career to the long-term sustainability of funny GIFs and memes.

Just as the popularity of his celebrated wave was faltering, the 20-year-old popped up with a decisive middle finger to allay any fears that football was now his prime concern.


Marcus Rashford shows great character

Let’s be honest, though, it was hardly a clanger, and excellence in attack is what we’re coming to expect from Rashford.

We’ve got one here.

Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain shouldn’t start for England

Nor for Liverpool, with shots like this.


Best stick to wing-back.

Adam Lallana should.

England are nowhere near good enough to be without their best players for games at a time.

Do us a favour and look after Lallana, Jurgen, because he has to be fit in Russia.

Gareth Southgate is right

Phil Jones isn’t just a not-so-pretty face.

He’s England’s best defender.


It’s time to get excited for Scotland

They have just seen off the mighty Lithuania and Malta.

Russia, here they come.

Michael O’Neill should be in the Premier League

After all, why would you want to take your home country to a second consecutive major tournament when you could be having your spirit crushed and reputation destroyed in the Best League In The World?