Night-time visions of cartwheeling stumps and slashing blades niggle until temptation outweighs sense…
As England are cricketing abroad, viewing conditions back home are invariably cold, dark and a bit miserable.
Indeed, were it an easy yes or no, then sleep would win every time.
The allure of Test cricket, though, ensures that no such straightforward option is on offer.
The sensible choice – turning over and nodding back off – is interrupted by visions of off-stumps cartwheeling and blades slashing on the other side of the globe.
Did Cook win the toss? Has he survived the first hour? Has the new ball made a breakthrough?
These thoughts niggle until temptation outweighs pragmatism, and – bleary-eyed – you’re there, finding out for yourself.
The state of world cricket is such that touring sides regularly struggle.
England have won just two of their last eight Test series away from home.
Such was the sorry state of Alastair Cook’s side Down Under in the 2013/14 Ashes that sleep really was preferable by the time the pummelling was complete.
Mitchell Johnson’s destructive bowling had England’s batsmen hopping around – no sight for tired eyes.
In the UAE, the latter hours of the day coincide with the English morning – so more were awake to witness England’s hopeless pursuit of 145 against Pakistan in 2012.
Folding to a painful 72 all out was hardly encouragement to tune into the dead-rubber third Test of that series.
But you might have regretted snoozing through Christmas night after a day of indulgence in 2010.
Australia’s collapse to 98 all out – and England’s 157-0 in reply – was a particularly enjoyable late present for those who witnessed it live.
Those who do put themselves through it, however, know that late-night cricket viewing is not defined by winning or losing.
The camaraderie is just as important.
Knowing that a select group of people are also stropping at the loss of a cheap wicket, or revelling in a dramatic run chase, is special.
Even the pain of witnessing England’s long days in the field perversely satisfy.
It’s a good job, too, as there could be quite a few of those this winter.
Such are the subcontinental conditions that days of ball-chasing are likely to be followed by dramatic collapses and, possibly, heavy defeats.
England’s spin bowling, in particular, is not brilliantly stocked.
Ultimately, though, Test cricket is a bug and witnessing it for yourself is therapy to the frustration.
The 24/7 addiction is inexplicable, yes, but ultimately unavoidable.
Strap in for another chilly, sleepless winter.
